Why I Struggled with English for Ten Years – and How I’m Changing That Now
Twenty years ago, I started learning English. From junior high school to college, I spent over a decade on this language. I memorized vocabulary lists, passed all the exams, recited countless grammar rules, and practiced writing and listening almost every week.
But one day, I faced a harsh reality: I still couldn’t communicate smoothly with native speakers. I couldn’t understand lectures clearly, read English books freely, or write with confidence like an English native. It was deeply disappointing. Why did this happen after so many years of hard work? How can I truly learn English in a better way?
Looking back, several important reasons come to mind. Let me share them with you.
1. I Learned English Without Real Teachers or a Real Foundation
During all those years of learning, I never had the chance to learn from native speakers or highly trained language professionals. Most of our teachers focused on exam strategies, not on real communication.
I remember one popular method from a man named Li Yang, who created the “Crazy English” movement. He encouraged students to shout English loudly and quickly, hoping that passion would lead to fluency. At the time, I followed this trend blindly. I shouted phrases like a parrot, repeating what I heard from the left ear to the right ear—without truly understanding anything. It was crazy, indeed. But the core problem was this: we had no solid foundation in pronunciation, sentence structure, vocabulary logic, or the cultural context behind the language. Without that, all our shouting was meaningless noise.
2. I Learned English with a Chinese Mindset, Not an English One
This may sound strange, but I now realize that I was trying to “learn English in Chinese.” I saw English words as just translations of Chinese words. I never tried to think in English.
But English is not just Chinese with different sounds—it’s a completely different way of organizing thoughts. The English language is shaped by Latin, French, German, and Greek influences. It has been used in philosophy, science, religion, and law for centuries. As a result, it values logic, clarity, and critical thinking.
English encourages abstract thinking. It often expresses moral ideas, logical structures, and spiritual concepts with precise words. For example, in Chinese we may say “feeling good,” but in English we would ask “Is it reasonable?” or “Is it ethical?” The shift is not only linguistic—it’s cultural and philosophical.
I realized that without understanding the culture and mindset behind English, I could never truly think in it. That’s why native-like fluency stayed out of reach.
3. I Had No Real Output Environment – Just Tests
Even though I studied English for ten years, I rarely used it in real life. I almost never spoke it outside the classroom. I didn’t write essays or communicate with native speakers. My “output” was limited to filling out multiple-choice questions or writing test answers.
But language is a tool for expression. You learn to speak by speaking. You learn to write by writing. You build fluency by making mistakes, getting feedback, and improving.
Looking back, I wish I had joined an English-speaking club, written a blog in English, or used social media to make international friends. I needed more real-world practice and feedback, not just textbooks and exams.
4. Today’s World Offers New Hope
Fortunately, we now live in a different age. With the internet, AI tools like ChatGPT, YouTube, and online communities, we can create our own English environment anytime, anywhere.
We no longer have to rely on outdated methods. We can:
- Watch native content like TED Talks, podcasts, and news.
- Practice speaking with language partners or AI bots.
- Write blogs, diaries, or essays and get real feedback.
- Read stories, articles, and books based on our interests—not just school materials.
- Explore English culture through documentaries, films, history videos, and music.
These tools help us not just to learn English, but to live in English.
Conclusion: My New Path Forward
Now I understand that learning English is not about shouting loudly, memorizing grammar rules, or passing exams. It’s about building a mindset, forming habits, and staying connected to real life through the language.
I want to think in English. I want to feel the culture behind the words. I want to use this language to explore, to express, and to connect with the world.
I’m lucky to live in a time where the tools are available. I don’t want to waste this chance. So today, I restart my English journey—with curiosity, courage, and a more open heart.
Let’s not just learn English.
Let’s become someone who lives in English.